🔗 Share this article Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme TV's top hosts devoted the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just launched immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access system for the wealthy. Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he touches." Colbert's target was the controversial program which enables foreign individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "platinum" version for 5 million. The program's page pledges processing "with unprecedented speed." "A brief message here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked. He noted that the card is also intended to "get cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he said. "Unprecedented background check the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card." "This is a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choosing." "Maybe it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked. Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining approval ratings during financial anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said. Recently, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, and reacted peculiarly to some cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.
TV's top hosts devoted the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just launched immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access system for the wealthy. Colbert's Sarcastic Spin Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he touches." Colbert's target was the controversial program which enables foreign individuals to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "platinum" version for 5 million. The program's page pledges processing "with unprecedented speed." "A brief message here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked. He noted that the card is also intended to "get cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he said. "Unprecedented background check the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals completely are eligible to be in America." "That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card." "This is a card that will allow affluent overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choosing." "Maybe it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked. Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining approval ratings during financial anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said. Recently, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, and reacted peculiarly to some cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.